Songs (MP3s)

Bass² - Is it a song about how much I like to play the bass guitar? Or is it about tiger ownership, Battlestar Galactica, racism, and other stuff?

Yes.

Dr. Ass - A song about everybody’s favorite proctologist. Okay, maybe he’s nobody’s favorite ‘cause I made him up. But if he were real, he’s the rooter you’d want in your tooter.

Tools in the Toolshed - The song that started its life as a snippet from “Joey and Jerome’s Artisitic Meaningful Independent Film”. What is it about? I dunno. But it certainly mentions Tyler Perry,  Encyclopedia Brown, Voltron, and cornflakes.

F*ck You, I’m on a Bike - Do your ride a bike? Do you ride it while I’m driving? Have you pissed me off while doing so?  Then this is for you.

Chemical Fire - A totally intense metal song about how my love for you is super hot and everything we do is hot and stuff is burning and there’s lots of heat and whatnot.

Hot Tub Group Release - A very disgusting song about very disgusting people doing disgusting things they should disgusted by.  Don’t blame me, blame this craigslist ad for inspiring me. WARNING: This is disgusting.

The C Store - A mysterious store appears on a local street. What do they sell? Find out!

My First Song - Hey, we all had to start somewhere.

Ninjews Theme - Rockin’ song about Jewish Ninjas that plays during the credits of the new Ninjews movie.

Bass Attack - An ode to myself, from myself.  I predict this will replace “Crank Dat” and “Cupid Shuffle” as everyone’s favorite hit to dance to.  Guest vocals by Brandi Morgan.

Mr. Peepers - A heavy metal ode to voyeurism

Generic Independent Film Soundtrack Song - The title says it all!  Take your  favorite indie film! Turn down the volume!   Fast forward to any part of the movie!  Play this song!   Amazing! It fits anywhere!

Time is Gonna get You - from the “Every Seven Minutes” soundtrack.  An 80s metal summary of the plot of the entire film.

Boneless Children - a mournful metal tale straight out of ’89 about a very select group of the disabled.

I like my Women in the Kitchen - a country concoction of chauvanism (that was almost alliterative).

Finest Workout Song - a rockin’ ode to pumpin’ iron, juicin’ your quads, and deltin’ your lats.

Bling Bling (Dope Ass Whack Booty Yo) - This is how every rap song sounds to me.

Butt Pirates of the Caribbean - who says being gay isn’t manly?

Hellbound Jew - the definitive manual on how not to be Jewish.